Google’s offering this year is GoogleGulp, mind-altering drinks that make you more intelligent. What stands out as the most entertaining, however, is the self-parodying FAQ:

4. What if I don’t want to use Auto-Drink™?

No problem – simply turn off Auto-Drink™ on your Google Gulp preferences page.

5. Well, shouldn’t Auto-Drink™ be default-off?

You mean we should cripple a perfectly useful feature just because of a little bad PR?

6. Yes.

Okay.

7. How can I get my hands on a Google Gulp?

This “limited release” beta product is available to anyone who turns in a used Google Gulp bottle cap at any local retailer. If you don’t have any Gulp caps, ask a friend to give you one.

8. What if none of my friends have a Gulp cap to give me? Can’t you just give Google Gulp to anyone who wants it?

Well, we’re thinking about it, but, um, you have to understand that there are many considerations which go into deciding how to distribute —

9. I mean, isn’t this whole invite-only thing kind of bogus?

Dude, it’s like you’ve never even heard of viral marketing.

I had been a little worried about Google losing their cluestick, but it appears it was just stolen briefly.

Update: The Bloglines offering is very funny too — they’re translating all RSS feeds into Klingon for inter-galactic newsreading!